


Let The Hargreeves Family Say Fuck

by lastyoungrene_gay_de



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, F/M, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, NO FUCKING INCEST, Temporary Character Death, and then they all yell at pogo because theyre using a braincell at that moment, eudora patch is alive because i said so and she's flirting with diego like her life depends on it, it's hating reginald hargreeves hours, they talk to each other lie siblings actually do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-19 02:48:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22637617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lastyoungrene_gay_de/pseuds/lastyoungrene_gay_de
Summary: In which the Hargreeves siblings actually use a braincell every once in a while.
Relationships: Dave/Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves/Eudora Patch, The Hargreeves Family, mentioned/ spoken about Dave/ Klaus Hargreeves, so - Relationship
Comments: 24
Kudos: 326





	Let The Hargreeves Family Say Fuck

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone who follows me on tumblr and has been seeing me post clips from a tua fic... here it is!! This was seriously only supposed to be a few hundred words and here we are.... almost a full 9k because i just couldn't fucking stop. enjoy!

Luther was deflecting. True Luther fashion, take charge and fuck it up. Not tell the rest of the lowly not  _ number ones _ the whole truth, Diego thought, but what was he hiding now? He’d just announced the end of the world was near, but there was still something he didn’t want to share? 

“What actually happened the first time around?” Klaus demanded from where he was sitting on the floor across from Diego. 

“Yeah, what are you not telling us?” Diego followed. “Come on, big boy, spit it out.” 

Luther looked at each of them and muttered something into his coffee cup. 

“What was that?” Allison asked and blinked expectantly. Luther coughed. 

“I said, uh, we died.” He spoke loud and clear this time, and his siblings all stared at him with wide eyes. 

The tense moment broke when an umbrella jumped out of its holder and onto the floor. Klaus yelped as it flew open. 

They spent the next few minutes bickering, and had made their way to the bar by the time Vanya walked with a strange man in tow. 

“Hey,” she said softly. The rest of them fell quiet. Luther, Allison, and Klaus had to turn to see them, but Diego, who was around on the other side of the bar, only had to look up. 

Diego didn’t like Vanya’s guy. He didn’t know him, and he didn’t like him. He didn’t have time to think about it too much though, because according to Luther, according to Five the world was going to end in three days. 

“What’s going on?” Vanya continued after they all acknowledged her presence. 

“It’s a family matter,” Allison said. 

“A family matter,” Vanya scoffed.  _ Good fuckin’ job, Allison _ , Diego thought. “So of course you couldn’t bother to include me.” 

Dear fucking god not this again. 

“Oh god, what were we supposed to do?” Klaus asked, though he seemed to be saying it more to himself than to Vanya, if the way he had his head in his hands looking down at the surface of the bar was any indication. 

“What?” Vanya said, staring daggers at Klaus, but he never looked up to notice. 

“We called you but you didn’t answer,” he groaned. “And we didn’t really have time to waste.” He opened his mouth to say more, but Allison cut him off. 

“Yeah,” she said. “You’re welcome to join us now. In fact, we’d love for you to join us now.” 

“Well,” Diego said and tilted his head, but Allison held a hand up to stop him without turning around. 

“Come on, I’ll catch you up,” Allison said. They all stood still for a few seconds, no one wanting to be the first to move. Then Vanya nodded and took a step toward them. 

“Okay,” she said. She took another step just as there was a flash of blue above the bar. Five crashed onto the bar from above, accompanied by dirt and ashes. They all leapt back. Allison fell back into Vanya, Luther fell back into one of the barstools, and Klaus fell back onto one of the couches. No one said anything as the clatter that followed Five’s arrival died down. 

“Am I still high, or can you guys see him too?” Klaus eventually said. No one answered as Five slid off the bar and the coffee cup in Allison’s hand. 

“Five, where have you been?” 

“Are you alright?” 

“Who did this?” 

Five didn’t answer any of them. He just chugged and threw the now empty coffee cup over his shoulder. “So the apocalypse is in three days,” he said. “And our only chance to stop it is, well, us.” 

“The Umbrella Academy,” Luther added dramatically. Diego rolled his eyes. 

“Yeah, but with me, obviously,” Five shot back. 

“And Vanya,” Allison added and tilted her head as a gesture for Five to turn around. He looked, and when he turned back around Diego thought he saw a small smile on his face. 

“And Vanya,” he repeated firmly. “So if y’all don’t get your side show acts together and get over yourselves we’re screwed. Who cares if Dad messed us up? Are we gonna let that define us?” Klaus shook his head slightly, and Diego almost did the same but forced himself not to. “No,” Five continued. “And to give us a fighting chance, I’ve come back with a lead.” He held up a folded piece of paper in his hand. “I know who’s responsible for the apocalypse.” 

Allison held out her hand and Five passed her the paper. 

“What the hell?” Vanya said slowly. Diego looked up at her from where he was still standing behind the bar. 

“We did say time sensitive. Didn’t we?” he said and walked around the bar and toward the group. Vanya looked away from him, but took a step toward Allison as she unfolded the paper. 

“Harold Jenkins?” Allison asked. 

“Who the hell is Harold Jenkins?” Diego said, eyeing the paper over Allison’s shoulder. Five sighed. 

“I don’t know.” 

“Oh, so you just have a name?” Diego said. 

“It’s better than nothing,” Vanya said softly. Diego opened his mouth to snap at her, but Klaus smacked his shoulder with the back of his hand. He looked over to Klaus, who shook his head to keep him quiet. Diego rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything. 

“There could be dozens of Harold Jenkinses in the city,” Luther said. For once, Diego actually agreed with something he said. 

“Well, then, I guess we gotta find the right one,” Five said as if it was obvious. 

“How do we do that?” Vanya asked. 

“I know,” Diego said. “Anyone interested can come with me.” 

“I’m in,” Allison said. 

“Me too,” Five added. 

“I’ll stay here,” Luther said. “I want to go through Dad’s research. I still think this has something to do with why he sent me to the moon.” 

“Oh god,” Diego muttered and turned to leave, hoping Allison and Five would follow. “Klaus? You comin’?” 

“Uhh, no,” Klaus groaned and stood from where he’d been sitting on the couch. He stumbled around as he continued. “Not feeling too hot. Just gonna stay here.” 

“Leonard and I will…” Vanya trailed off as she spun to look around the room. “Where did Leonard go?” 

Suddenly, Diego, and everyone else, it seemed, noticed Vanya’s boyfriend had slipped away at some point.  _ Good _ , Diego thought. He didn’t like the look of that guy. 

“Did anyone see him?” Allison asked. She gave her siblings a look that made Diego think she didn’t think too highly of him either. 

“We don’t have time for this,” Five insisted impatiently. 

“He’s right,” Diego said and walked out the archway toward the door. “I’m going.” 

“I guess I’ll stay here then,” he heard Vanya say. “In case he’s still here, or he comes back.” 

“Okay,” Allison said, and a few seconds later Diego heard the clicking of her heels on the floor as she followed him. Another pair of footsteps joined them, which Diego assumed was Five. Soon the three of them were in the car on the way to the police station. 

“So what exactly is the plan here?” Allison asked as Diego found a place to park the car. 

“Easy,” Five said. “I blink in, get the file, and blink out.” 

“Ey- no, no, no, no, no,” Diego said. “My plan, okay, we are sticking to  _ my plan _ .” 

“Which is?” Allison asked, leaning toward him and raising her eyebrows. 

“I know this station, okay?” Diego said. “I’ll get what we need.” 

“Ugh,” Allison scoffed and leaned back against her seat. “Oh god. Okay, whatever.” 

“Diego, we don’t have to be this dramatic about it,” Five said. “I did this yesterday.” He corrected himself a few seconds later when he got matching weird looks from his brother and sister. “My yesterday.” 

Diego didn’t answer. He just got out of the car and slammed the door shut behind him. He walked through the door and slipped through the jumble of people and toward Patch’s desk. He wasn’t surprised to see her sitting at her desk, moving paperwork around with the arm that wasn’t in a sling. He readjusted the arm in his own sling as he got closer. 

“Jesus, don’t you ever take a break, Eudora?” he said when he was standing next to her desk. She turned her head to look at him but didn’t say anything. “Or do you not even know what that is?” 

“What the hell happened to your arm?” she asked and jerked her chin up. 

“Same thing that happened to your arm,” he said and fell into the hard chair next to her desk. She raised an eyebrow. 

“So your way continues to injure,” she said lightly. 

“Got shit done, didn’t we?” Diego countered with a cocky tilt of his head. She rolled her eyes. 

“What do you want, Diego?” she asked. 

“Thanks for helping my brother,” he said earnestly. Her face softened a bit. 

“You’re welcome,” she said softly and shifted in her chair. “But that’s not it, is it?” 

“No,” he said. 

“What do you need?” Her voice wasn’t as sharp as it had been at Griddy’s or some points at the department store. 

“I need a file.” She closed her eyes and sighed. “I know,” he continued before she could say anything. “But if this guy’s doin’ what we think he’s gonna do he  _ has _ to have a record. I  _ need _ that file.” 

She looked down at her desk and messed with one of her pens. 

“Does this have anything to do with the people at the hotel?” she asked and finally looked back up at him. 

“Yeah,” Diego said. “They took the brother you helped, to get to my other brother, who they’re trying to stop from stopping something bad.” He used a finger to trace the connections in the air between them. She didn’t look at it, though. She maintained eye contact with Diego instead. 

“What’s the name?” she asked and pressed her hand onto the desk and stood up. 

“Harold Jenkins.” 

She nodded and walked off. He remained in his seat as she left and tapped his fingers on that desk. 

He remembered getting the motel she’d asked him to meet her at, and hearing the sirens and seeing all the emergency vehicles’ flashing lights. He’d pushed his way through growing crowd surrounding the scene. One of the uniforms had tried to push him back, and Diego could still feel the wave of relief that rolled over him when Patch’s voice cut through the mess of noises. 

“He’s good, Will. Let him through.” 

The officer gave him one last look over as he stepped aside. He jerked his head in the direction of one of the ambulances, which Diego then walked over to. 

Patch was sitting in the back of the ambulance with one arm in a sling and blood all over her shirt and jacket. 

“What the hell happened?” he asked her when he got close enough. She looked up at him and a few loose strands of hair fell into her face. 

“Well, the assholes in the masks got away again.” 

“Eudora, that is  _ not _ what I meant.” She sighed and shook her head. 

“Fine,” she said. She gestured for him to sit next to her in the back of the ambulance. Her shoulders slumped when she began. “We found this note on a car at a crime scene earlier that said ‘we have your brother’ and a matchbook from this place. I came up here and started checking out the rooms, and I heard a weird banging from one of them. I got a key, and when I opened the door we has fucking duct taped to a chair slamming his head on the table. I got him untied and he got out. I don’t know where he went, and none of the guys I sent looking have found him.” 

“But you know he got out?” Diego asked. 

“Yeah, I’m sure of it,” Patch said firmly. Diego nodded, satisfied with her confidence. He knew that if she wasn’t sure about it she would have said so. 

“Okay,” he said. She didn’t say anything else, so he had to prompt her to continue. “You gonna get to the part that puts your arm in a sling?” 

She shrugged before she said, “Two guys, one got behind me, but apparently can’t shoot for shit. They got past me and no one’s caught them yet.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me, Eudora?” he snapped. She didn’t seem bothered by the harshness of his tone. 

“Some guys searched the room,” she continued. “Found the masks that connects them to the department store, and now they’re kidnappers. Hopefully someone with some sense can catch ‘em.” 

Diego shook his head. “Well, that just about leaves you to do it.” He was thinking about the look on her face when he said that when he was pulled back to the police station by her dropping a file on her desk. 

“Here ya go,” she said and fell into her seat. “You owe me.” 

He leaned forward to grab the file from her desk. He leaned a little too far as he looked at her, and continued until he was much closer than necessary. He was too busy watching how she looked at him to notice the hitch in either of their breath. 

“Owe you what, exactly?” he asked. She pressed her lips together and quickly dropped her gaze to something right below Diego’s eyes, but flicked back up just as fast. 

“Dinner,” she said before he could say anything about it. 

“Alright,” he said softly. He grabbed the file and stood up. Her eyes followed him. 

“One more thing,” she said quickly and turned to look at her desk again. “I looked in that file, and if you’re gonna have to deal with that guy, you’re gonna need this.” She grabbed her rabbit’s foot keychain from under some paperwork and held it up to him. 

“Thanks,” he said softly and reached out and took it. “I’ll get back to you about dinner after I save the world.” He turned to leave as her eyebrows began to furrow. 

“Wait, what?” 

“Oh, I didn’t tell you,” he said innocently and spun around and walked a few steps backwards. “My brother’s trying to stop the end of the world.” 

“No, you didn’t mention that part!” she called after him. 

“I’ll tell you at dinner,” he said with a smirk and turned back around to walk out of the station doors. 

He got back to the car and was pleasantly surprised that Five was still there. 

“Got the file,” he said and held it up as he slid into his seat. 

“What do you look so happy about?” Allison asked as she snatched the file from his hand. Diego opened his mouth, but Allison continued when she opened the file. “What the hell?” 

“What?” Five demanded. 

“This isn’t possible,” she said. Diego saw what she meant when she tilted the file for him and Five to see. 

“Oh my god, that’s Vanya’s boyfriend,” Diego said when he saw the picture in the file. 

“Shit,” Five hissed. He shifted in a way Diego had learned to recognize. 

“No, no, do not blink out of here, Five,” he said. “You came back here so we can do this shit as a family. You are not blinking out of here. Not until we have a plan at least.” 

Five closed his eyes and sighed deeply. 

“Fine,” he said. “So what do we do?”

* * * * *

“Hey Luther? Vanya?” Klaus called as he wandered the halls of the mansion. I need some help with something! Could one of you give me a hand?” His fingers fiddled with the rope slung over his shoulder. 

“Klaus?” he heard Vanya say from downstairs. He began walking downstairs, and almost knocked Vanya over on his way down. 

“Sorry,” he muttered as he reached out to steady her by her shoulders. 

“‘S okay,” she said and looked up at him. “Klaus are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I just,” he said and shook his head in an attempt to focus. “I need you to tie me up.” 

“What?” she asked incredulously. 

“I need to get sober,” he said. “And the last time that happened I was kidnapped and tortured.” 

“You were  _ what _ ?” she asked, eyebrows raised and mouth hanging open. 

“It’s not important,” he said with a wave of his hand. “I just-” He was cut off by a thud and shattering from the living room where the siblings had already had four fights in the five days it had been since their father died. Klaus and Vanya looked at each other with identical looks on their faces; eyebrows furrowed and eyes narrowed. Klaus was the first one to turn and approach the noises. He could hear Vanya follow him. 

He ignored the voice in the back of his head saying they were the worst two of the family to have in a fight if something went wrong. Hell, Pogo probably could have taken them if he tried. When he saw the state of the room, he wasn’t sure what to think. 

“Luther?” he asked when he saw his brother leaning over the bar. Luther spun around quickly and stumbled under his own weight. Klaus understood when he saw the lock on the liquor cabinet broken and the glasses on the bar. He held up on hand behind him to stop Vanya from getting any closer as he took another step. 

“Luther?” he repeated slowly and held his other hand up in front of him. “What’s goin’ on, man?” 

Luther collapsed onto the couch, and Klaus looked quickly at Vanya before sitting down next to him. Vanya walked over and stood next to them. 

“What happened Luther?” she asked. 

“He lied,” Luther sobbed. “He lied about all of it. It was all for nothing.” Klaus put a hand on his arm. 

“Lied about what?” he asked. 

“The moon,” Luther wailed. “I found everything- unopened! All my research, all the messages, hidden under the floorboards like a teenager’s porn stash.” 

Klaus sighed and shook his head. He turned to look at Vanya, who obviously didn’t know what to do. He looked back down at his hand on Luther’s arm and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath, opened his eyes, and looked back up. 

“Dad lied to all of us, Luther,” he said. “Dad fucked all of us over, and we’re all still fucked up because of it.” 

“But-” 

“Luther-” 

“Get him,” Luther said, his expression suddenly darkening. Klaus jerked away from him. 

“I told you, I can’t,” he said. 

“Get. Him.” Luther’s voice was hard as he leaned toward Klaus. 

“I can’t Luther. He is as he was in life, he’s a stubborn prick,” Klaus argued. “Let me get a little cleaner and I’ll try again.” His voice picked up toward the end of his statement, cheering up to encourage Luther. 

Luther raised his glass to his lips, but Klaus reached out to stop him. 

“Hey, no,” he said. “No, no, no, Luther. You don’t wanna do that.” 

“I wish I were you,” Luther said suddenly and let the hand holding his glass fall to his lap. “Like you.” 

“Oh no you do not,” Klaus said as he shook his head again. 

“Yes I do,” Luther insisted. “You’re so carefree, you don’t let it get to you.” 

“Luther, I don’t think,” Vanya started. Luther’s head shot up to look over Klaus’ head to look at her, as if he’d forgotten she was there. 

“Or you,” he said. “I wish I was you. Not involved in all this.” Klaus turned to Vanya and had no idea how to read her expression. 

“Hey Luther,” he said and turned back to his brother. “I think you should go lie down.” 

“What?” Luther demanded. 

“Go upstairs and lie down,” Klaus said. “YOu have had way too much to drink to be doing anything right now.” 

“Yeah, Klaus is right,” Vanya added, finally coming out of her shock. “You’ll be able to think clearer when you’ve sobered up.” 

“Yeah,” Klaus agreed. “Come on man, let’s get you to bed.” He stood up and tried to drag Luther up with him. 

“No,” Luther said. “I need- I need to-” 

“Luther,” Klaus said firmly. He wasn’t sure if he wanted Vanya to help again or not. “Come on. You’ll feel better after a nap.” 

Eventually they got Luther to stand up and go upstairs. They went up with him, one of them on each side, holding his arms as he stumbled to his room. He muttered about the moon the entire way there. He fell asleep as soon as they got him to bed. Vanya and Klaus looked at each other as they silently left the room. 

“What is going on?” Vanya said quietly, most likely to herself, when they got out of the room. 

“Looks like Daddy dearest fucked up even his precious Number One,” Klaus said, ignoring how the question didn’t really need a response, and slowly walked away. Vanya followed him all the way to their father’s study. The floorboards in one corner of the room had been moved and set aside to reveal tens and tens of white packages. Tens and tens of unopened white packages. Klaus shook his head and looked at Vanya, who was staring at the bags with her jaw set firmly in anger. 

“Damn it, Dad,” he said. He leaned back against the wall behind him and sank to the ground. He let his legs sprawl out in front of him. “That man couldn’t do a single thing right as a parent.” Vanya sat down with her legs crossed in front of him. 

“Probably because he didn’t even try,” she said. 

They sat like that for a while. Klaus thought about what Luther said about wanting to be like him.  _ Careless _ was the word he’d used. He knew how he must have seemed to his siblings with all the drugs and never taking anything seriously, but it was still kind of shocking that they actually saw him as someone to envy. 

“Klaus?” Vanya said, interrupting his thoughts. “Why are you trying to get sober  _ now _ ?” 

Klaus sighed and pursed his lips. 

“Trying to help Luther,” he lied, trying not to think about Dave. “He wants me to get Dad, and at this point I’d like to yell at him too.” 

“Klaus, you were talking about getting sober before Luther,” she said. Klaus looked down at his lap. “Really, Klaus. Why?” 

“I lost someone,” he said softly, trying to remember exactly he’d explained to diego after the bar fight. “The only person I ever really loved more than myself.” 

“I’m sorry,” Vanya said quietly. “What happened?” 

“When Five’s friends attacked the house and kidnapped me, I ended up escaping doing a bit of time traveling.” He watched Vanya’s face to try to get a gauge of what she was thinking, but apparently his story wasn’t too crazy yet, so he looked back down and continued. “And I met him, so I stayed there. For ten months. And then he died, so I came back.” 

“Klaus, I’m sorry,” Vanya said. He looked back up her and saw her face, and he realized she genuinely was. 

“Thanks,” he said weakly. 

“What was he like?” she asked and quickly added, “if you don’t mind me asking.” Klaus chuckled and shook his head with a smile. 

“God,” he said softly. “He was… he was kind and strong and vulnerable and beautiful.” He knew he was staring off at nothing over Vanya’s head, but he couldn’t help it when he got caught up thinking about Dave. “Beautiful. And he was  _ good _ . Too good for where he was.” 

“What was his name?” 

“Dave.” 

Vanya smiled at him. Can I ask one more question?” Klaus nodded. “Why didn’t you try to get sober there? Why come back here for that?” Klaus realized he had forgotten to tell Vanya exactly where he’d gone. 

“Oh trust me,” he said and shook his head. “Getting sober there was… not an option.” He paused and Vanya looked at him expectantly. “Vietnam. 1968.” 

Vanya blinked. And blinked again. And shook her head and looked down at the floor for a few seconds. 

“In the Vietnam war?” she asked. Klaus nodded. “You fought in the Vietnam War?” Klaus nodded again. He started tearing up and reached up to wipe them away. 

“I just want to see him again,” he said quietly so his voice wouldn’t waver. “I miss him so much, Vanya.” 

“I can’t imagine,” Vanya said. Klaus reached up to wipe away another tear and tried to think of a way to change the subject, but just at that moment the front doors of the Academy opened loudly. 

“Vanya!” Allison called. “Vanya are you here?” 

“Vanya!” Five yelled. 

“Klaus!” Diego’s voice came with the others. 

The two looked at each other and hurried to the stairs. 

“What’s going on?” Klaus asked. 

“We got the file,” Five said. 

“You’re not gonna like it, Vanya,” Allison said when they were all standing together. “Where’s Luther?” she added after looking around quickly. 

“He found all his research and message he sent Dad- unopened,” Klaus explained. “He spent all that time on the moon for nothing, and he didn’t take it well.” 

“What did he do?” Allison asked, worried. 

“Got into the liquor cabinet,” Klaus said. “Had a little too much. We got him to go to bed before he did anything stupid.” Klaus could see Diego shaking his head. 

“Fucking Dad,” he said. 

“Agreed,” Klaus said. 

“What did you guys find?” Vanya asked and gestured to the file in Allison’s hand. Allison looked down and then up at Vanya, obviously hesitant to hand over the file. She pursed her lips and slowly held it out. Vanya took it, and Klaus leaned over to see as she opened the file. 

A picture of the guy who’d been with Vanya when she got to the house was looking back at him. Vanya’s hands began to shake as she held the file. Klaus read the first piece of paper. 

“He got twelve years for killing his dad?” Klaus said incredulously. “Jesus, one of us should have taken a page out of this guy’s book.” 

“I don’t understand,” Vanya said, voice shaking more than her hands. 

“One way or another,” Five said, “he is responsible for the apocalypse.” 

“So what do we do?” Klaus asked. 

“That’s what we were talking about on the way here,” Allison said. “We obviously have to go find him and talk to him, find out what he’s up to. But we didn’t want to make any decisions without talking to Vanya because of… everything.” 

All eyes turned to Vanya, who was still standing with her mouth and eyes wide open. 

“I…” she finally looked up at her siblings. “I don’t.” Allison walked over to her and threw her arms around her shoulders. Vanya responded by immediately wrapping her arms around her sister’s waist. 

“It’s a lot,” Klaus heard Allison mutter. “It’s okay to be confused, Vanya, this is a lot.” 

They all waited for Vanya to collect herself. Klaus could see Five’s fingers twitching restlessly; his patience was growing thin. Klaus walked over to Diego. 

“Hey what the hell happened?” he asked his brother in an attempt to get the details of how his siblings got the file. 

“I went to my friend at the police who helped get you out of that hotel, told her something serious was up, and she got me the file,” Diego said. 

“And was that all?” Klaus asked. Diego didn’t answer. Klaus bit back a grin and elbowed him. 

“Aww, did Diego get a kiss?” 

“Shut up,” Diego growled. 

“Okay, guys,” Allison said with a hand still on Vanya’s shoulder. “What are we going to do?” 

“We need to find Harold Jenkins,” Five said firmly. 

“We already know that dipshit,” Diego said. 

“What are we going to do?” Allison repeated. “Do we all go?” 

“I’m definitely going,” Vanya said. The rest of them eyed each other, not sure if that was the best idea. “Guys I have to go,” she continued when no one spoke up. “I need an explanation, and I need it  _ from him _ .” 

“Okay,” Diego said. “Let’s get going, then.” 

\-----

“Hey does anyone think we should have woken Luther up?” Klaus asked. Ben, who was laying across the floor of the backseat shook his head. “Left him a note or something?” 

“Well, it’s too late for that,” Diego said from the driver’s seat. Five was sitting in the passenger’s seat up front, and Allison and Vanya were sitting in the back with Klaus. 

“Yeah,” Vanya said and looked over at Klaus. “And you saw him, he’s out.” 

“Yeah, that’s true,” Klaus said and turned to look out the window. No one said anything until they came to a stop in front of what Klaus assumed was Harold Jenkins’ house. 

“This is it,” Vanya said as she stared at the house. 

“Vanya, are you sure you wanna do this?” Allison asked. “I’ll stay out here with you if you don’t want to.” 

Vanya looked over at her. “Thanks,” she said. “But I need to do this.” They all got out of the car and looked at each other before they walked to the front door. Vanya reached out and opened the door. 

Klaus wasn’t sure what he expected, but he didn’t anticipate the house of the guy who causes the apocalypse to be so devoid of ghosts. Only a few roamed the halls. One of them was an older guy whose head had been bashed in. Another was an Asian woman who seemed lost. She obviously hadn’t been dead very long. Klaus turned to Ben to ask if they really were the only ones here or if he was still a little high, but Ben was gone. Great. 

They all walked in slowly in an attempt to stay quiet. Hurrying and rustling was coming from around the corner in front of them. 

“Hey Harold,” Diego said. He spun the face them when they entered the room. 

“Oh, hey guys,” Harold/ Leonard said. “What took you so long?” 

“Shut up,” Five snapped. “So, how? What are you doing?” 

“I honestly don’t know,” he replied and tucked his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. He didn’t sound too upset about everything. 

“Are you kidding me?” Diego asked. Howard/ Leonard raised his eyebrows and tilted his head with his eyes still on Diego. 

“What do you think, Vanya?” he asked in a cheery tone. Vanya’s jaw hardened as Allison put a hand on her shoulder. 

“Why did you lie to me?” she demanded. 

“To get to you,” he said simply with a shrug. Klaus’ attention began to wander. As pissed as he was at this guy, he didn’t want to know how he’d fucked his sister over. When Allison, Five, and Diego had enough of his bullshit he would know when to jump in. 

Klaus’ eyes wandered around the kitchen and living room. Everything was old fashioned, as if it hadn’t been renovated in a long time. Grace would have fit in perfectly. 

Klaus wandered. Poked at the books on the coffee table. The pen and notebook sitting on the couch. Opened the bag sitting on the recliner, and he wasn’t expecting what was in it. 

It was a notebook. A familiar notebook, he knew this one from somewhere. He flipped it over and saw the  _ R.H. _ printed on the front, and remembered the day in the ally behind the academy both days and months ago. This was his father’s notebook. 

Why did the guy who would cause the apocalypse have his father’s notebook? 

Klaus held it up with the  _ R.H. _ in full display and walked back to the group. 

“Ya know,” he started and continued when he was sure he had everyone’s attention. “The garbage behind our house isn’t really the best for book shopping. At least, not in variety. Barnes & Noble is pretty good if you got the money for it, but you’d be surprised with the book selection at most Goodwills.” 

“What the hell is that?” Diego asked. 

“Well this, dear brother,” Klaus said and opened the notebook, exaggerating flipping through the pages. “Is a notebook of Dad’s that I threw away after he died. 

“What? Why?” Allison asked. 

“It was in a very nice box that got me very, very high,” he answered. He actually looked down at the pages and slowed down. There was some weird, impossible stuff in there. “I tried to find it after Pogo talked to me about it, but apparently I was too late.” 

Everyone started talking at once, but Klaus was paying more attention to the contents of the notebook. He skimmed a page and had trouble believing it. “Number Seven,” it said. Klaus read snippets of the page describing Number Seven’s- Vanya’s- powers.  _ Unlimited. Uncontrollable. Dangerous. Should be kept a secret. _

“Uh, Vanya,” he said weakly. “I think you should take a look at this.” 

“What is it?” she asked and made her way to stand next to Klaus with her eyebrows furrowed. 

“What Dad wrote about you,” he said and handed the notebook over. Allison followed Vanya over and read the notes over her shoulder. Diego and Five followed. Klaus watched Harold/ Leonard’s face as his siblings read the pages. He started to obviously panic. 

Vanya finally looked up. “And you knew all this?” she demanded. “Before we even met.” He didn’t say anything. “Why? Why did you do all this?” 

“To protect you,” he eventually said. 

“From what?” 

“From them!” Harold/ Leonard pointed to the siblings that surrounded Vanya. “They never cared about you. Them, your father- never! It’s all right there!” 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Diego said at the same time Allkison said: “How dare you?” 

“Yeah, we weren’t that great,” Klaus said from where he was still standing separate from his siblings. Everyone turned to look at him. “Guys, we all fucking suck,” he continued. 

“You’re right,” Ben suddenly said. Klaus jumped a bit. 

“Where the hell have you been?” he asked and ignored his company’s confused looks. Ben shrugged. 

“Figured you were right about Luther and needing to leave a note or something,” he said. “Planned on letting you know if he woke up, but Vanya was right. He is  _ out _ . What did I miss here?” 

Klaus shook his head. “A fuckton. You missed a fuckton of information here, Ben.” 

“What?” Vanya asked. 

“Ben went to check on Luther and missed all this fun new information,” Klaus said and gestured to the group. 

“Are you really gonna listen to this?” Howard/ Leonard asked. “If you’re so pissed about me getting this shit, I got it because of him!” 

“We’ll deal with that later, asshole,” Five said and turned back to Howard/ Leonard. “Right now our problem is-” 

Vanya was still looking at Klaus, obviously thinking hard about something. 

“Klaus I haven’t seen you take anything all day,” she said softly. 

“She’s getting it,” Ben said lightly. A grin spread across his face. 

“Ben’s proud of you for that one,” Klaus said. “But we have something else to worry about right now.” 

“Hold on, Ben is here?” Diego asked. 

“Ben is always here,” Klaus explained. All his siblings turned to face him, seemingly forgetting about the crappy interrogation that was going on. Howard/ Leonard tried to take off, but without looking behind him Diego threw a knife that stuck in the wall fractions of an inch away from his nose. 

“You’re not going anywhere, asshole,” he said. “Klaus, go.” 

“Really?” Klaus asked incredulously. “You’re gonna pick now to listen to me? Christ, do you wanna know about my wonderful time travel vacation to Vietnam, too?” 

“Your fucking  _ what _ ?” Allison asked. 

“Jesus, you guys are a mess,” Harold/ Leonard said. 

“Oh, you don’t get to talk about fucking family dynamics, you killed your dad,” Diego said and whipped around so he was pointing a finger at Howard/ Leonard. 

“Guys, come one!” Klaus said. 

“What did I fucking miss?” Ben asked. Klaus half-heartedly turned to him.

“Vanya has powers,” Klaus said quickly and turned back to the living group. 

“What the fuck?” Ben said. “Isn’t her whole thing not having powers?” 

“Well, I’d say it’s kinda rude to say that’s her  _ whole _ thing,” Klaus said. He ignored the shocked and confused looks from his siblings. “She does do that violin stuff and… and I don’t know it’s been a while and before that I was too high to notice anything. But, yes, we’re all shocked, but we’re moving on for now.” 

“To what?” Ben asked. 

“I don’t fucking know! You showed up and fucked all of this up.” He threw his arms around wildly. His voice got louder as he continued. “What are we doing here?” 

“He’s gonna start the fucking apocalypse!” Five yelled and pointed at Howard/ Leonard. 

“What do we do about it?” Klaus screamed. 

“We fucking kill him!” Five yelled back. 

“Why is everybody fucking screaming?” Allison screamed. 

“STOP IT!” Vanya yelled and put her hands over her ears. 

A pulse erupted from Vanya and spread through the house. The pulse was strong enough to knock everyone else backwards. Five, Diego, and Allison stumbled back a few steps and managed to stay on their feet. Klaus fell flat on his ass and knocked his head on the floor, and everything went black. 

\-----

Klaus woke up in a world that was shades of black, white, and grey. For a moment he thought he hit his head so hard he went color blind, but then he realized he wasn’t where he actually hit his head. He was lying on his back looking up at tree branches and upbeat music was playing from seemingly nowhere. He stood up and stretched his arms as he looked around. Something was moving toward him, nothing more than a speck in the distance growing bit by bit. As it got closer, Klaus realized it was a little girl on a bike. 

“Hello,” he said with a wave when she got closer. She stopped her bike. 

“Almost didn’t see you. You blend right in around here, so pale and all,” she said and looked Klaus up and down. “Do they not have any sun down there?” Klaus raised his eyebrows. 

“Down there?” he repeated. “Where am I?” 

“Where do you think?” she responded. 

“I’m not sure,” he sighed lazily. “I’m agnostic, so-” 

“Doesn’t really matter,” she cut him off. “You can’t stay here,” she continued firmly. 

“Why not?” 

“To be blunt, I don’t really like you all that much,” she said. 

“Yeah, me neither,” Klaus hummed. He stood up a little straighter and opened his arms so his palm tattoos were on full display. “Wait a minute, aren’t you supposed to love all of us?” 

She scoffed, “Where’d you get that idea? I need you so I can pick and choose.” She said the last part a-matter-of-factly, like Luther did when he would rat on Klaus when they were kids. “And you don’t rub me the right way.” 

“Wait,” Klaus said and leaned down so his hands were resting on his knees supporting most of his weight. “So you… you made us? You made me?” 

“Well, I made everything else, so I must have made you,” she reasoned with a shrug. Her expression darkened when Klaus laughed. “Why? Do you have another idea?” 

“Maybe,” Klaus answered. “A couple. I don’t know.” He reached out to mess with one of the flowers in the basket attached to the handlebars of her bike. 

“Well, then, keep them to yourself,” she said. “Time is flying, so hurry up. He’s waiting for you.” She finally looked away from Klaus and pointed toward what looked like a small barn in the distance Klaus hadn’t noticed before. 

Klaus stood up straight again. “Who is?” he asked. She pointed to the barn and Klaus’ gaze followed. He looked back at her with a smile. “Dave.” She looked back at him before he took off running toward the barn, calling Dave’s name over and over as he got closer. 

Which is why hearing his father’s voice after sitting in the seat in the barber shop was even more upsetting than it could have been. 

“What in god’s name took you so long?” his father’s harsh voice cut through the room. Klaus pulled the towel off his face. 

“Dad,” he said, voice full of dread. 

“I expected my son who can conjure the dead to have brought me forth days ago,” his father said as if Klaus hadn’t said anything at all. He busied himself with getting shaving cream together. 

“Oh, yeah you see,” Klaus said. “I tried, I really did, but-” he was cut off by his father spreading the shaving cream over his mouth. 

“You were poisoning yourself,” his father accused. 

“Well, what do you expect?” Klaus asked. “You’d just died. I was beside myself with grief.” 

“Don’t you dare try to use me as an excuse for your weakness,” his father snapped. 

“Oh, right, well, yeah, you had nothing to do with it. Locking me in a mausoleum with corpses when I was 13. No, you’re right, it’s irrelevant.” His father sighed and held up a razor. “Ah- ah- ah- careful, Dad.” 

“Don’t worry. You’re already dead.” 

“Oh, well that’s a relief.” 

“You children like to blame everything on me.” 

“Well, you were a sadistic prick. Not to mention the world’s worst father.” 

“I just wanted you to live up to your potential. You especially. You’re my greatest disappointment Number Four. You only scratched the surface of what you were truly capable of. If only you’d focused.” 

“Wait, wait, wait. What… What potential?” 

“No, instead you pump yourself full of poison because you were afraid. Klaus sighed. “Afraid of what? The dark?” 

“You know, I suggest you get down off your high horse there, dear Papa. You never had our best interest at heart. Look at your precious Number One. Luther found all the unopened letters he’d sent you. He knows that you sent him up to the moon for nothing.” 

“That was foolish of me.” Klaus looked at his father, surprised. “I should have burned it all.” 

Klaus laughed. “That’s your take away? Oh, wow. Yeah, of course it is.” 

“Not an ideal solution, I confess.” 

“Are you kidding me? What about Vanya?” His father’s head snapped back to Klaus’ face. 

“What?” he hissed. “What about Number Seven?” 

“We found your precious notebook. Her powers should be kept a secret. She spent her whole childhood separated from the rest of us because she didn’t have powers. But no! It was just more of your lies and manipulative bullshit.” 

“She knows?” his father questioned, eyes wide. 

“Yeah,” Klaus spat. His father looked away, but his eyes remained wide. 

“That’s the worst thing that could have possibly been allowed to happen.” 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Klaus exploded, finally finding the end of his patience with his father. “She was a kid! We were all just kids!” 

“You were never just kids,” Reginald said firmly. “YOu were meant to save the world.” His father began to fade away and the white light in the room grew brighter. 

“No,” Klaus cried. “No, no, I can’t go back. I can’t go back!” 

And he sat straight up. 

*****

Diego watched as his brother fell over and his head hit the floor with an audible  _ crack _ . 

“Oh my god,” Vanya wailed. 

“Klaus,” Allison screamed and ran over to kneel next to Klaus. 

“Shit,” Five hissed and ran to join Allison. Diego followed them as Vanya started crying. 

“I didn’t,” she started. “Oh my god I didn’t mean to.” Allison looked up at here, back down at Klaus, and back up at her before standing up and walking over to her. As he watched her, Diego realized he’d lost track of Harold/ Leonard. 

“Shit,” he yelled and ran to the kitchen where he’d last seen him. Apparently he’d taken the same tumble as Klaus, because he found him lying on the floor with blood pooling under his head. Blood was covering the corner of the counter top behind him. 

“That’s one less thing to worry about,” he said as he turned back to his siblings. 

“What?” Vanya asked weakly. 

“He’s dead,” Diego said with a vague gesture over his shoulder to the kitchen. 

“Oh my god,” Vanya said as she put her face in her hands. “Oh my god, I did-” 

Klaus sat up and gasped. 

Everyone went still and silent. 

“Oh, fuck,” Klaus muttered and rubbed the back of his head. His voice seemed to pull everyone out of their trance and they all started talking at once. 

“ _ Klaus _ ?” 

“What the hell?” 

“Oh my god, Klaus!” 

“What the fuck is going on?” 

All Klaus said in response was: “I fucking hate Dad.” 

“I mean, me too but what does that have to do with fucking anything?” Diego asked and looked around to see if anyone else was as confused as he was. 

“Eh, ran into him over there,” Klaus said and sat up. He continued as he stumbled to his feet. “He’s still an asshole in case any of you were wondering.” 

“Klaus, you fucking died,” Vanya yelled wildly. She was starting to break down after everything that had happened so far that day. 

“Yeah, apparently god doesn’t like me,” he said as he looked around the room. “Well… I say apparently as if that was something I had to guess or I wasn’t sure about, but she straight up told me that so I guess I gotta accept it.” He wandered around the room and into the kitchen as the rest of them tried to take in everything he’d just said. “Oh boy, this guy is dead and  _ definitely _ not coming back,” he said. He pointed to where Diego had seen Harold/ Leonard on the floor a minute before. 

“Yeah,” Diego said. Apparently he was the only one capable of saying anything. 

“We should probably go then,” Klaus said. 

“Oh. Right,” Diego said. Nobody moved. Klaus looked at them and scoffed before picking their father’s notebook up off the floor where it had been dropped in the madness and making his way to the front door. 

“Jesus, you’d think you guys were used to crazy shit happening by now,” he said. 

Even Five didn’t know what to do. Diego didn’t know what to think about that. 

“Guys!” Klaus yelled from outside. The other jumped a bit before following him. 

“What about Leon- Hraold?” Vanya asked, voice still shaking. “Do we just leave him?” 

“It just looks like he fell,” Five finally said something. 

“Cool,” Klaus deadpanned. “Let’s go.” 

Then they were all in the car driving back to the Academy. Diego didn’t remember the ride back, which he found concerning considering he was the one driving. He shook the thought away, if they all made it back without dying his job was done. 

They opened the door to the sound of Luther’s voice booming through the halls. 

“What’s going on?” he yelled. “Where could they have gone? Why wouldn’t they have waited for me?” 

“Probably the incredibly hard deadline to stop the end of the world,” Fave said as they all entered the room. Looking between Luther, Pogo, and them, it appeared to Diego that they were about to have yet  _ another _ fight by the bar. Klaus sprawled out across the couch and began flipping through the pages of Reginald’s notebook again. 

“Master Klaus, what is that?” Pogo asked when he recognized what was in Klaus’ hands. 

“Oh this,” he said and faked confusion, turning the book around to look at the cover before he continued. “It’s the notebook from the box you were asking me about the other day. There is some good stuff in here.” 

“Wonderful, I’ll just take that,” Pogo said and took a step toward the couch. He put a hand out for Klaus to give him the book, but instead he just clutched it closer to his chest. 

“Oh, it’s too late, Pogo,” he said and shook his head. “We’ve already learned some  _ interesting _ things.” 

“What the hell are you talking about, Klaus? What is that?” Luther asked and also took a step closer to Klaus. Diego stepped in front of him and stopped him from getting closer to Klaus. 

“One of Dad’s notebooks,” he said. 

“Well what’s in it?” Luther demanded. 

“Well, Vanya has powers for one thing,” Klaus said casually from the couch. “Which Dad seemed  _ pretty  _ pissed about when he found out we knew that when I talked to him, by the way.” 

“What?” Luther asked. “You talked to Dad? How? When?” 

“Oh, Imet God and had a fun little conversation with Dad when I hit my head and died,” Klaus said. Luther threw his hands up dramatically. 

“Do you ever get tired of your own bullshit, Klaus?” he asked. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Diego said and held up a hand. “He’s telling the truth.” 

“Oh, are you kidding me?” 

“No, he’s not,” Allison said. “We all saw him. We died and then he woke up.” 

“I think you’re jumping over the whole ‘Vanya has powers’ thing a little too quickly, Luther,” Klaus said. 

“There’s quite a lot to take in here, Klaus,” Luther snapped. “And it’s not  _ my  _ fault I wasn’t there.” 

“Oh, so that’s what your problem is?” Diego asked, finally realizing what was going on. “You’re pissed that you, Number One, weren’t there to be the one to save the day.” Diego watched as Luther’s jaw hardened. “Well guess what, Luther. It is your fault. You’re the one who spent all this time refusing to believe a single thing about Dad when the rest of us opened our eyes and fucking left! You spent thirty years believing, and you’re the one who got so drunk he couldn’t come when we were actually able to do something.” 

“Stop it!” Pogo yelled. Diego turned to him, his anger and frustration suddenly bubbling up from somewhere inside of him. 

“And you let him!” he yelled. “You let him do this shit to us and let everything go on like it was okay! How much did you know, anyway?” 

“You knew about my powers, didn’t you?” Vanya said, speaking up for the first time since they got back. Diego looked at her. Her hands were shaking, but her voice was firm. At some point in all that Five took a seat by the bar and opened a bottle of something. Diego looked back at Pogo while they all waited for him to answer Vanya. 

“Yes,” he said. “I did.” Vanya closed her eyes. 

“Question,” Klaus said and raised his hand like an elementary school student. “Why did Vanya, emotions and sound driven power child, get the power killing meds and not me, the pre-teen junkie who just wanted all of this to stop?” 

“Your father believed your powers had a much better chance of having more impact if you learned to control it,” Pogo answered. 

“Okay, well  _ that _ clearly wasn’t happening,” Klaus said. 

“Oh my god my head hurts,” Luther said and collapsed into one of the chairs. 

“Look children,” Pogo started. 

“Shut up!” they all yelled. 

“Go, Pogo,” Diego said. “Just go.” Pogo looked like he wanted to argue, but eventually left without saying anything. The siblings sat in silence for a minute before Luther finally broke it again. 

“Did you guys find Harold Jenkins?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” Five said and finally took a break from drinking to contribute to the conversation. “Vanya killed him.” 

“On accident,” Vanya added when Luther’s eyes went wide. “With the whole… powers thing.” 

“Here,” Klaus said and held out the notebook. “This’ll clear it up.” Luther looked at it like he  _ really _ didn’t want to take it. 

“Who was he?” he asked and took the notebook. “Harold Jenkins. Who was he?” 

“Vanya’s boyfriend who came to the house earlier,” Five said. 

“Guess we know why he disappeared,” Diego laughed. 

“Yeah,” Vanya said. Luther looked down at the notebook in his hands. 

“What do we do now?” he asked. 

“I don’t know,” Five sighed. 

“Um,” Vanya started. Everyone looked at her. “I’d like to figure out how to control my powers so I don’t do anymore, uhh, accidently killing people.” 

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” Klaus said. “Not everyone can just bounce back like me.” 

“Yeah,” Five said and finally put the bottle down on the bar. He turned to Klaus. “And do you have any idea what you’re doing with your powers now that you’re sober?” 

“Not a fucking clue,” Klaus said. 

“Okay then,” Five said and stood up. “Klaus and Vanya, training, come on.” He started walking. 

“What,  _ now _ ?” Vanya asked. 

“Yeah, clear your schedule, both of you,” Five responded. 

“Well, I’m ready,” Klaus said and stood up. 

“Okay, I have the performance in a few days, but other than that,” Vanya said and took a step to follow. 

“Wait,” Allison said. “What performance?” 

“Oh,” Vanya said and turned around with a small smile. “I forgot. It’s actually what I came by earlier to say. The orchestra has a performance in a few days. I’m actually first chair.” 

“Oh my god, Vanya, that’s great,” Allison said with a huge smile. 

“Thanks,” Vanya said. “I was hoping you guys would come.” 

“Of course, Vanya!” 

And three days later they watched Vanya perform and not fucking blow up the fucking moon. 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading and pls know you can come talk to me on tumblr (@lastyoungrene-gay-de) and scream abt tua okay im begging you to talk to me about tua


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